This morning, after waking up and organising the kids, I took Smushface downstairs with me whilst I changed the cat litter, took out the recycling, and swept the kitchen. She sat there in her bouncer, happily watching me, cooing to herself… just an ordinary morning. But I never take it for granted.
Only when you’ve had a baby who cries the second she is put down do you realise just how difficult being a parent can be! Nookie was the absolute polar opposite to Smushface. Just a brief browse through my early blog posts will tell you as much. She would cry most of the night, want to be constantly attached to my breasts, would not let anyone except me anywhere near her, and refuse to be put down. Contrast that with Smushface who has slept through the night (pretty much) since she was born, will only feed when she’s actually hungry (and cry if I attempt to feed her when she’s not!), will smile and coo at anyone who talks to her, and will happily sit in her bouncer watching the world for quite a while before getting upset.
But I’m glad Nookie was the way she was! I’m glad I had such a slap-in-your-face introduction to parenting and had to adapt. It was bloody nightmarish at the time, but I’ve come through it a stronger person and learned more than I could have ever imagined. I wouldn’t be the person I am now, with the friends I have now, if I hadn’t had to learn so much to cope with Nookie’s temperament. I’m also glad I never became one of those smug parents who think parenting is easy because they happened to have a baby like Smushface the first time around. I remember one of those parents who made me feel so bad when Nookie was a toddler… “My daughter isn’t like that!” she said smugly to a Facebook status I had posted about how difficult Nookie was being on one particular day. The implication that it was somehow my fault that Nookie was such hard work hung in the air, as it has done in numerous conversations throughout Nookie’s babyhood.
Well, now all the doubters can see. It wasn’t me who somehow created a difficult child who cried most of the night. It wasn’t my fault Nookie wouldn’t go to anyone but me. I hadn’t somehow indulged her, spoiled her, and thus created a difficult child. Smushface is the easiest baby you could possibly imagine. And we’re parenting her pretty much the same way as we did Nookie (the slight difference being we’re a lot more relaxed with Smushface than we were with Nookie, and I have had a sling from day one). She’s a different child. REVELATION! Children are different! Who’d have thunk it?!
To all the parents out there who have “difficult” babies. Who cringe when people ask the inevitable “is he/she a GOOD baby” (because, you know, there’s no other question to ask). Who are enduring sleepless nights, sore nipples from the constant feeding, and a feeling of isolation because they dare not leave the house… Don’t worry. It’s not you. Some babies are “easy”. Some babies sleep through the night. Some babies are calm and contented. But some babies aren’t! It’s nothing you did! Just accept them for who they are, get a warped sense-of-humour, drink some coffee, and remember THIS TOO WILL PASS. One day you’ll have a beautiful four year old who was worth every second of that hardship and who is spunky and individual. You’ll have grown as a person in more ways than you can imagine. You’ll know you can handle just about anything! And you’ll look back and wonder how it all went by so fast!
Baby Nookie
Baby Smushface
